Strange, isn't it? We can read over a verse, a chapter in the Bible and think we have a grip on what it means. When it happens to you, then what was black and white has become Technicolor. I have read Proverbs 13:12, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick...", many times but this morning it lit up like fireworks.
Yesterday I found myself doing a little heavy lifting, something that has been off my list for quite a while. It left me breathless as usual, but I didn't collapse afterward. I held onto hope that I may be regaining strength. People at church have commented I looked better lately, so in my mind I was thinking, "this was just temporary or the pills are resolving some issues".
Today I was able to get up, feeling normal. My spirit was continuing to rise. I started school, but then heard the clothes dryer buzz, so went to get the load of sheets and pillowcases for the guest bed. I opened the hatch and as I reached in, as if someone tripped a switch in my body...the "bottom dropped out". I didn't fall but it suddenly felt as if I had just finished the Boston Marathon. It was about all I could to lift the sheets and drop them on the bed.
I got back to my desk. Miriam had gone in to work early, so I called her. I was overwhelmed. As we talked I reminded her and myself (more for me at that point) that God has me here, I have work to do, and it is something I can do. Later praying I was reminded "Jehovah-Jireh" God will provide. Even in my absolute best Boot-Camp days MY strength was small.
I now have to laugh because I have prayed for God for less of me and more of Him, He is answering my prayer and I panic? get worried? It has come to my attention that my Faith has become strong enough for me to handle this, I should rejoice that He trusts me with this much weakness!
I have a verse on my desk that I have placed to hourly remind myself of one goal, to know HIM better. So in this rejoicing do I look forward in fear or anticipation?
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