Fighting For Life

Fighting For Life

I jumped on to a moving train once. Back when I was a street cop, we were attempting to apprehend some men illegally “riding the rails”. My subject was standing on the coupling between two boxcars. I ran alongside, grabbed the step, swung up, grabbed his wrist and hung on till the train came to a stop. Writing this article will be harder.

A few years ago I got myself into a fight for life. While it was supposed to have some risks, I did not expect to have ALL of them thrown at me. A guy in our church was dying of a congenital liver disease through no fault of his own. He was a candidate for transplant, but had yet to find a cadaveric donor, so was looking for a living donor. His condition was deteriorating and the doctors needed to perform the transplant soon or the operation would be too risky to attempt. I became the donor. My recipient went on to recover and has beaten records for survival for transplant surgery. I was a worst-case scenario. My six to eight weeks for expected recovery ended up being a little over four months. I got to return to ICU. After an initial stay in the hospital, I went home only to return for several more weeks. Thankfully, I did recover and except for scars and memories have left all that behind.

I am currently dealing with an ailment that is a mystery. Doctors have not been able to tell us what it is but have told us a lot of things it is not, or may not be. It is not related to the liver surgery. Dozens and dozens of blood tests have come back negative for various types and forms of infections, deficiencies, or malformations. Scans have looked for shapes, movements, and displacements from head to toe. I have been told that there are diseases that are elusive and may require repeated testing over time, or much more invasive testing to detect. Even if the culprit is found, there may not be a course of action to take. I may have a condition for which there is no cure, only some relief of symptoms.

I write this to say I have and am fighting for LIFE. Not a tooth and nail struggle daily right now, but I honor the notion itself. I have joined those who call themselves the “Right to Life” movement. I strongly support the rights of the unborn, who cannot speak for themselves. But they are not why this article is being written. I wrestle over youth who end their own lives.

Don’t misunderstand me. I have felt the desire to quit. I have put together plans to exit. There have been times where the promised spirit world seemed like a much better option than the physical world with its sweat, failure, hatred, distrust, and no options. Even the Apostle Paul wrote, “(NIV) If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.”(Philippians 1:22-24) In a less sanctified moment he mentions being “pressed out of measure, even despairing of life” (suicidal).

I hope you will hear that I am NOT saying the kids who take their lives have “no reason to do so”. I am troubled that they in fact have reason to. What is going on that someone so soon is being “pressed out of measure”? I hope it is a matter of perception that can be cleared in the minds of ones who are yet considering the option of suicide. I have to believe that God is not pushing people to quit early. I am confident that Satan does want to inflict pain, and suicide does inflict pain on the family and friends of the victim. People are the image of God, and since Satan cannot successfully attack God directly, then he goes after the “image” in any way he can.

If I can be allowed a venture into possibility, it is to compare the last moments before a suicide to an avalanche. Up until near the end things may have been perceived as in control. A person can have a few things out of place, break a few rules, then suddenly too much is gone to go back (that is the false perception, but the person is unable to escape their own perception). Situations happen that are beyond a persons control and life appears to have no viable options, everything is just too painful to consider. The trouble for those of us who want to help is we can’t see the swirling storm inside of another person’s mind and soul. Often the person who is hurting will even try to hide the evidence.

There are as many causes to end a life, as there are lives. There is no magic pill or formula to bring happiness to a darkened soul. Jesus is the only Light in this world. Without Him, hope is lost. With Him, hope can begin. He is the sure and steadfast solid promise of the future. In this present world He will never leave us but we are going to face battles of unknown levels of ferocity. When we don’t seek company of people who are also pursuing hope or avoid signs of “avalanche territory” trouble is sure to follow.

There is great trouble in life. Jesus told His disciples “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves”. If you have ever seen what a wolf can do to a sheep, then it should be no surprise when a sheep might choose to end its own suffering. Pretending the violence does not exist or the level does not exist will only aggravate the pain of those who suffer. This is a world at war and the war exists on many terms.

The body can be kept alive but why do so if the spirit fails? Proverbs 18:14,
“A man's spirit sustains him in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?” I want to find a way to tell these kids that there is a reason to live beyond it wrong to kill yourself. While there is no single answer, those of us who call ourselves Christian must practice what we preach. It will mean spending less time on our careers, our cars, our makeup, just generally on us. We won’t make as much money, look as fancy or have as much status, but how much value will the life a person return if you invest in them?

This is a conscious choice to devote less energy to stuff and more to people. Unless deliberate action is taken, opportunity will be lost. The clock keeps on ticking whether we like it or not. Mark 13:20,22 “If the Lord had not cut short those days, no one would survive. But for the sake of the elect, whom he has chosen, he has shortened them…For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform signs and miracles to deceive the elect—if that were possible.” Deception is not reserved for some far off time period. Even now we can be lead to believe that “I’ve got more important things to do”. Who is dying because we are too busy.

Join me in praying, “Lord, help me let go of ONE thing today, to help ONE more person”. We have to start somewhere.